I spent a few days observing Harry Whitney work with horses recently. Watching his process and hearing his perspective working with horses I find new illustration of truths. Horses are not people, and humans are not gods, so the illustrations have limits, however, the better we are with our horses, the more like a perfect leader we become, the more we’d look like Jesus. The more we look like Jesus, the stronger our relationships become, and a good horsewoman is looking for a strong relationship with her horse. It might be the fact that horses are not like humans this works so elegantly albeit imperfectly. Horses will respond to leadership and relationship honestly- without agendas or guile. They are by nature truth tellers.
In this visit with Harry I had a particularly personal insight and wrote about it in my Hope Horsemanship blog: Kate the mare (click the title to read it if you’re inclined). I felt I could relate to Kate on some level, and watching Harry help her come to peace reminded me how God leads us gently to make the choices that will bring us to peace- if we will let him.
In one conversation, Harry talked about obedience in contrast to responsiveness from a horse. He said (in my closest paraphrase):
Obedience is more of a conditioned response than an understanding or a feeling good about the job. Horses being obedient feel like they have to get things done, where a responsive horse feels like she is choosing to do something. One way you can tell the difference is if you pause in the middle of a job, or change mid stream. An obedient horse gets flustered and anxious if there is a change up in the job. A responsive horse can wait, or change course with you.
Harry Whitney
Today, I woke up ruminating on this. Many people would like an obedient horse, I’ve overheard conversations and comments that it is a positive quality for the horse to “know his job” and most horse people like to see a horse move into action when a request is made with the reaction of: yes ma’am, howhigh-howfast-howfar!? However this obedience is a lower level of connection.
Certainly I am not suggesting disobedience is a higher level. To be clear, a horse who ignores a request or refuses to work together is usually disconnected completely, has little trust, and that is in every way less desirable!
Responsiveness is a more meaningful connection than obedience because the horse is not only doing a job, but doing it in partnership. There is a priority of being engaged in the connection over being engaged in the job.
This made me think of how we are called to a deeper connection with God than with the jobs we are running around doing for him. In case we didn’t notice, Jesus made it clear beyond doubt that the greatest call we have, our first priority is to love God. This is the higher level, not to serve, but to love.
Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment.”
Matthew 22:36-38 ESV
Of course we will serve out of love. The problem is we can serve without love. Service alone is not evidence of love. We can be enslaved and obedient without a connected relationship. Jesus’ desire is to have with us a higher, connected, intimate relationship. Without question this is available to every person, yet also, clearly, not every person engages in that process equally. We have been given freedom, and we choose to (or not to) engage in a deeper or higher level of relationship and commit and the trust and vulnerability that it requires. Many say we want that intimate relationship, but there is a process and it takes time to build the trust and vulnerability that is necessary.
“I no longer call you slaves, because a master doesn’t confide in his slaves. Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything the Father told me.”
John 15:15 NLT
The beautiful thing about horses is they don’t have a human (sin) nature and so if you engage them with the invitation and consistently show yourself as a trustworthy, adequate leader, they will continue to move toward responsiveness over obedience. I’m not sure it works exactly to say my horse is becoming my intimate friend the way Jesus has called us because there are limits to how an animal can bond and connect with a human. If this were not so, God wouldn’t have made such a point that among all the animals and living creatures, not one was found to be a suitable partner for Adam (Genesis 2:20). That being said, we do form meaningful bonds with animals and they can connect with us in beautiful ways. With horses, I have found there is a distinct difference between working with them as servants (slaves), and working with them as them partners in the jobs we take on as a team.
I began to consider what it might reveal about my connection and relationship to God. Have you worked with the person who has a hard time shifting when environment or circumstances change and you hear things like: well I was only doing what you told me… or this is the way we’ve always done it… or what do you mean hold on, I’m in the middle of finishing this task?
I see this in myself when I begin to get a vision of something I see God moving in around me. I get excited and begin heading in the direction I see things heading- and I begin to have a stronger connection to the work than to God. This is apparent because if God begins to ask for a pause (that darn waiting thing!) or a shift in direction, I get anxious and flustered. I get hard headed and hard hearted and find it hard to change course. I was fixated on the work and lost connection with the relationship.
I recently had a dream about taking multiple bus lines to get somewhere. I found this inefficient and asked God: why not rent me a private car? Then we could head straight to the destination?
I felt God showing me that efficiency isn’t always his way. When I don’t sequester myself in a private ride, along the way (as I go…) I have more opportunity to meet others, to learn from them or share with them. The private car also means I can get in and consider only one destination- I can tune out to the process that changing bus lines offers- the bus lines meant paying attention to when to get on and off (I have to stay more engaged) and to remember that just because I get on a bus, it doesn’t mean I have to stay on the bus until the end of the line! I am a commitment person- I am apt to be more obedient than responsive as I take my assignment, put my head down and head off to get it done! When I get interrupted mid-stream by a pause or a change in direction it is hard for me. I had already set my mind on where I thought I was going.
The point of all this, for me, is a reminder that if I get flustered when asked to hold on, to wait, or if I tend to start running people over in my efforts to get where I think I am headed… or if I’m off toward the goal and I feel the spirit changing the bus line and diverting me in what feels like an unrelated direction, to consider if my commitment is to the job or goal, or is it to the giver of assignments?
Do I trust Him enough to pause without a hard brace in my heart and say: Ok… here I am, do we need to change gears? Whatever it is, I’m with you!
When I’m working with a horse that is soft in the mind and present with me in the moment, I can ask her to move forward, then backward, then take a step to the side. I can ask her to trot out and move faster then I can slow her down or stop her with barely any effort. This is responsive to me.
Sometimes the very same horse is distracted, not present with me and I might ask her to come to the place I’d like to get on her and she does it like a robot, body engaged in the task and brain over in the field with the cows (this is generally apparent because it is where she is looking!). Why is this a problem? If she does the task, isn’t that enough?
The problem is when her body is complying but the mind is not with me, when I get on her to ride, I have no idea if she will be responsive toward what we face as we head out on the mountain together. I need to know that horse will check in with me before reacting or we can both get into trouble. I can trust a responsive horse to do a lot more with me than a horse that has not developed the ability to trust and connect with me. That horse isn’t a bad horse- but she’s staying in the pen, working in limited ways until we can gain that connection.
I don’t want to have to stay in the pen forever because I’m not truly connected and soft toward my leader! I am willing to go into the pen and work together there, but I don’t want my inability to trust and connect to limit what I can do together with Jesus. I want to engage in the relationship that keeps my focus on him and keeps me flexible and ready to shift gears because once we go out on the mountain who knows what we will run into and how we may need to adjust.
I don’t just want to learn a job, I don’t just want to be obedient to what I know I’m supposed to do… I don’t want to stay a slave longer than I need to… Jesus desires friendship for us all, intimacy and deeper connection. I want to be a friend of God. I want to be responsive and have a softness that trusts the one who guides and leads me. I want to wait without anxiety or change trails even when I don’t know why every time.
And I want my horse like that too!
The Jael Finishing School for Ladies 