Antimony, Sb51

O afflicted one, storm-tossed and not comforted, behold, I will set your stones in antimony, and lay your foundations with sapphires.

Isaiah 54:11 ESV

Isaiah 54 has become at least a seasonal life chapter for me in recent years. I had forgotten it for a while and recently reminded of the beautiful chapter. In revisiting it, it occurred to me to take one verse per day through the month of July, which I just realized starting on July 1 will end on my birthday exactly!

Particularly verse 11 came back to me in late May while on a walk, praying about a scene from my distant past I had remembered unexpectedly while driving. As I asked God about the memory and what it meant, I heard the phrase: afflicted, storm tossed and one not comforted. It was as if my father was telling me he saw that younger me, in that state, and he cared today to go back into that place and speak to a wound that probably never really healed up right. 

During that walk I knew it was a verse I was familiar with but couldn’t exactly place it all in context so upon returning home I looked it up, and I was quite stunned to take it in. It was of course a chapter had spoken to me powerfully and first verses describe the plight of a woman who has no children and has been rejected by her husband, and the promise that she should sing and cry aloud because her life will produce even more children that the woman who is married. 

Of course I know the greater context of this is about God’s chosen people and their long story of being the bride and beloved of God, but my understanding is the Bible texts are layered and fractal just as all of creation is. I know that the story of Israel as the beloved is played out on many levels including very personal ones. God can make his truths knows in incredibly large scale over people groups and centuries, or the microscopic life of a woman in a season.

Having a very personal story of being rejected and childless, I have held the promise that God tells me to sing and stretch out the cords of my tent and strengthen my tent stakes (I am also amused that my book title references the woman who used one of those tent stakes to save a nation from oppression!). He says not to fear, because though I was once wrapped in the shame of rejection and disgrace, God himself is going to enter the scene, pick me up, and make my life expansive and full. What better hope could one wish for!

So as I looked for the passage about the one storm tossed and not comforted from farther back in my memories, I was delighted to find it was the continuation of this very chapter that’s spoken so powerfully over my own life. This is in the second half of the chapter after God talks about the short season where he turns his face away. In the days I unpacked those I struggled deeply with the question: Lord if you promise never to leave or forsake me, what do I do with these verses where you say “For a brief moment I deserted you?”

This entry isn’t about the potential ways of considering that, but in my prayer requests to understand that better in my own world this month I heard a lot about being steadfast when we feel God is distant, or silent, and believing him even when there doesn’t seem to be much encouragement as when his face shines upon us and all is bright- when favor and blessing seem to abound. I considered the times we may be called to stand firm when it is less fun, and things might get confusing or unclear. Can we walk by faith and not by sight? Can we be trusted in disappointment and difficulty, not only in the dreams coming to pass and miraculous answered prayers. It is always considered brief, our time of feeling the Lord is silent, or affliction for the eternal compassion and love that comes weighs so much more in the entire scheme than the testing. Disclaimer: to me, sometimes God’s definition of brief feels not brief to me. But I trust him at his word anyway.

After this comes verse 11 which I focused on today. In May when I revisited it the first time I had to ask:

Father, if you are telling me we are going back to a time I felt tossed by storms and unconsoled, I am a little confused by the fact you don’t promise consolation. You could have said that you protect me under the feathers of your wings, or hold me in close embrace, but instead you promise to build me a castle. Why?

And with a smile I felt the answer should be clear. In a time I feel unsupported, lost, confused or upset, it’s nice to have someone pat me on the shoulder, give me a hug and say: there there, it’ll be ok… but what my heart really needs in that moment is a great Father who is in fact the king of the universe to assure me: behold, I am creating a life for you beyond what you can imagine! I am at work even now creating a life that is not only strong but exquisitely beautiful and perfect for you. I am doing something to support you and place you in a protected, beautiful, secure habitation. Hold on and trust me in this.

In taking only one verse a day, this allows for treasure mining in depth of words, and so I spent some time learning about a word I did not know well: antimony. Why this particular element and what is it exactly?

This was a fun dive into figurative parallels that I believe reflect the heart of my father for his beloved children. This is in no way meant to be a referenced science peer reviewed paper. You are free to do your own research, however everything I list below I found referenced sources of my own, and then I cherry-picked the parts I liked best! 

First, I wondered exactly about the building in construction. The ESV translates that the stones would be “set in” antimony, and so this in my own imagination seems to indicate that the antimony is like the mortar between the stones in some way. Antimony is somewhat soft, and there have been ancient Egyptian artifacts made with antimony that suggests in times past it was artfully able to be molded like a clay though today that is not done. And so this metallic element I’m imagining somehow is between the gems in the foundation of this structure —which will be stones of sapphire. Sapphire is also a fun google project, so on a side note it is the third hardest stone on a scale of 9/10 with diamond being 10/10. Sapphires are strong but also incredibly beautiful and with antimony as the setting it is shaping up to be a stunning foundation.

I was heart warmed by the word etymology. Antimony comes from the compound word “against-alone.” This has many layers: the opening of the chapter about a woman rejected, now her foundations will be set in the truth that she is never alone. I also considered how important Jesus made relationships and the church which is also considered to be a building created from living stones, and a body where all the parts are needed for the whole- we are made to function in community and relationship. This foundation of my new life is set with a mortar that runs through everything with the message: never alone. It is a promise and a command – because relationships are where we are most challenged, and so engaging even when they are difficult is our call if we want to grow and expand and build a beautiful life.

Next I found the ancient symbol really striking.

I saw a cross on a hill, or a cross atop the circle of the stone that was rolled away. It made me think of Jesus. The mortar that holds everything together- the gospel, the blood, the death and resurrection, the beloved himself poured out and holding everything together. Christ himself.

The metal itself has a molecular structure of six rings; there was mention of a property of “efflorescence” which is a chemical term describing a “flowering out” as water can bring salts in a pourous material to the surface. Antimony is dense but relatively soft, has a gray-silver shine and is resistant to acids. As I pondered that I know that softness is a quality of my life I yearn for. It is the ability not to have a hard heart that is easily offended but is malleable like the clay in his hands. I like that it’s resistant to acids, that goes along with the softness to me, able to not be transformed by the acidity of the world around me, but staying soft and beautiful even when “acidically” exposed or even assaulted. It is quite beautiful in its natural state with a silver sheen. I imagine it would be lovely with sapphire stones laid into it and seen from afar would shine as the sun reflected off it.

Antimony has impurities of arsenic and sulfide- so without purification it can be poisonous. How fitting! I also found it fun that it has explosive characteristics under certain circumstances (being ground with a mortar and pestle) and under the right heating process transforms to its more stable form. What is it about going through the fire that stabilizes our foundations? Later I learned one of the uses of it today is fire retardant material. It can burn if directly fired, but will stop burning when the flame source is removed. It is used to protect and strengthen once it’s been stabilized and gone through a refining process. When alloyed with lead it increases hardness and strength, and antimony has been found to have a nourishing effect on keratin tissues (like hair, nails, hooves, feathers etc.) Did I mention kohl? Yes, early “make up” in eye definition in Egypt, antimony what how they made kohl in ancient make up. Considering it’s nutritional property toward keratin, it probably helped nourish healthy eyelashes and eyebrows!

This deep little dive into such a simple word that some translations leave out entirely, gave me picturesque reminders of what I want to value in the foundation of my life. I need Jesus and his good news to be the glue that holds everything in place. I want a soft heart that is not changed by acidic environments I find myself in at times. I know I can be prone to explosion or fiery reactions when just the right circumstances present, but I am willing to undergo the process to refinement that makes me instead one who puts out fires and softens hard tissues! When I come into connection with others I want to bring strength to those connections so we both become better from relationship, and I want to remember regardless of what it seems at times- there is a promise over my life that I am “never alone.” For a bonus above it all, a beautiful silver shine and a life that carries efflorescence – flowering out all around me.